Sonnet 29
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings."
~ Sonnet 29
In times of utter hopelessness and despair, remember your loved ones who will not fail to be there when you need them. After all, just the thought of them makes your day worth living for.
I Continue To Dream
and a round fountain with a beautiful statue in its center.
And a song with a broken heart and I ask you:
Do you understand my dreams?
Sometimes you say you do,
And sometimes you say you don't.
Either way it doesn't matter.
I continue to dream.
~ Langston Hughes
Thoughts
(2) My head's full of thoughts that won't shut up, I got a presentation due to tomorrow and I chose to review Pride and Prejudice. The part where Darcy leaves his prejudice aside and admit to Elizabeth that yes, he was wrong at the beginning, that he did belittle her family seeing as how they're of lower class than him and when Elizabeth finally puts her pride aside and both give in to their feelings in that beautiful after-dawn scene in the movie was my favourite. If only we get to do that in real life: leave what's holding us back from doing what our heart tells us to do, even though we try hard to steel our heart and go through this heart vs. brain battle which is more often than not, is a losing game.
(3) Midsemester exams are drawing nearer. I'm nervous. We haven't finished the syllabus and I need to spend most of my time emersed in my studies, solving the lovely past papers that make you feel good about knowing something yet putting you down completely when you have no idea what the question is all about. Not the answer.
(4) The last book I read was A Place Called Here and that was back in the beginning of October, I think. (I'm not complaining, though. I'd have plenty of reading time once I'm done with highschool - cant wait! ) Anyhow, the book was kind of creative in its plot, you got this imaginary place the writer set up for all the missing things and people. I loved the book so much, I wanted to write a fanfic of it. Well, more like a made-up ending. One thing to add on my to-do list that keeps increasing. Why not?
(5) If you started Tumblr-ing just recently, stop. That's right, before you get so addicted you won't know how to.
(6) My words will get me in trouble someday. I know this for a fact. Till then, I'll keep writing.
(7) I got into Cubscribe (again), there's a workshop we'll have to attend and the dummy pages submission will be on January 17th. Sweet.
(8) Excited about the upcoming holidays. To be honest, I'm excited about so many things at the moment. November is such a busy month.
― Jodi Picoult, House Rules
Melancholy
I haven't written any stories since May 27th. That was the day I went back to update Hiatus Lane.. A draft which was never published.
..Yet, when things get tough, you'd find me writing again. They may not be complete paragraphs in an organised pattern. Just plain, random sentences could do it for me. Those writings, I keep them dated. I'll always go back to them and I'd realise how I was feeling right then and there.. And I'd smile at how writing these words down eased the pain of having bottled my thoughts in for so long..
One Lovely Blog Award
Rummy forwarded this blog award to me, thanks so much. I'm supposed to list 7 things about me, so here you go, you might find this boring. Read at your own risk.
(1) Words. To me, they're the most powerful things. They can either destroy you or win you over. Either way, they'll leave you speechless..
(2) I wish I could learn how to play the piano.
(3) I'm left-handed.
(4) I like to think that I'd publish a novel one day. That and own a library. (A girl can dream, right?)
(5) I'm known to have a short-term memory but there are things that I wish I could forget.
(6) If I was to invent something, it'd be a dreams-recording kinda machine. Wonder how awesome that would be like, re-winding all those beautiful, too-good-to-be-true dreams.
(7) 45% of the time I'm daydreaming. Don't get me wrong, reality is cool and all but I treasure the amount of time I spend in thinking of the future.
Now to forwarding this award.. I'll choose my recent favourites:
Rohini
Noor
Hea
Ibhog
Knee
Ameena
Process Activated
One more thing:
No sacrifices.
Process: Setting my priorities straight.
Objectives: Let go of the distractions.
Status: Activated
Ever wondered where the lost things go?
There's something about this type of fiction, the plot's a bit bizarre but the haunting question on the cover says it all:
Within the lines of the novel, you'll question many things. And even though the events might not be exactly realistic, there's a hint of truth in them. You'll fall in love with the concept of having found the answers to everything you've always asked about. You'll be happy to know that things don't just get lost like that, there's a reason. "Here", according to the book, is where all the missing things end up in.
P.S. Check out my review of For One More Day by Mitch Albom on Omani Book Mania, and I'll review the one I'm currently reading as soon as I'm done inshAllah. What are you reading these days?
Circle
A sentence that I tweeted last night which could be interpreted in so many ways. The hardest thing of all is breaking this circle, you just can’t seem to do it. Once you start going round, you’ll come round too. There’s no stopping, no point where you can go back. It's hard, it'll have to be. Guess things don't always have an ending.. Circles don't. Habits don't, like many things that don't have an end, you're left to go on and on with them till you... break. The circle won't. It never would.
I wasn't determined before, my hopes were crushed by mere words, by the realisation that I'm not qualified to be 'there', wherever it is that I wanted to reach. I didn't believe I could do it, maybe I was afraid of what I'll have to do in this process, maybe it was laziness. Or fear, as I mentioned. I still like to believe that I have a hint of that old self, I'm still afraid to begin, to take more than two steps at a time. Time. It's funny because I can't have my sweet time now, it's either I do it now or never. Choose or lose kind of thing.
Yet.. I want to believe. God, I want it more than anything. At this point, it's a must. I can't be vulnerable in this situation, I just can't. I have to be tough, I have to work at being different this time round.
I'll be that circle breaker.
Note this.
HBBC: Self-Love
Please take the time to view their blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.
Note: This is my first post for HBBC, be warned, I have nothing to add more worthwhile than my fellow HBBC-ers.
~ Self-love
Do I love myself? Why yes I do. I've long accepted my negative traits and learnt to live with them instead of pick on myself whenever I got the chance to. I think the most important part of loving one self is to truly accept who you are. Acceptance is the key here, just embrace your faults and it's only then that you could work on improving them or changing what needs to be changed. Respect plays a huge role too. If you do not respect and can't carry your self to those around you, how do you expect to be loved? Self love starts from within you. Cherish yourself. Be your favourite person in the world. Confide in yourself. Trust yourself to be what you wish to be not what others want you to.
I Miss..
Those days were amazing, I get so hooked up on my stories that I feel the presence of my characters, feel the need to be their voice and have words written on the blank ms sheet. It was incredible, the amount of time I spent in writing so much and deleting most of the lines only to add more of them later. I miss reading my stories as if for the first time, I try to put myself in the reader's shoes and find faults in everything.. It usually works, though most of the time, I end up feeling exhausted and I'd stop writing for a while. But the urge to end a story kicks in just in the right time, or not, in some cases. Above all, I miss the feeling that I get when all's done that I could have done better than this. Way better. Then I end up publishing it anyways.
On Moving
The moving was difficult at first, I didn't want to start packing, I didn't want to believe that this was it. Later, however, I thought it would be best to deal with it. So with an absent mind, I began packing, loading the boxes and shifting them. It got hard when the furniture started disappearing, when I looked back to the empty rooms and for a second, it looked like nobody ever lived here. I hated to think in that way, so without looking back, I headed to the new house and busied myself with the unpacking dilemma. It took 3 days but I was glad I sorted out my stuff.
On the first night of the moving, I couldn't sleep. I drifted in and out of sleep, thinking that I'd wake up in my room; that this was just temporary.. It wasn't. It still isn't. The house is great, don't get me wrong, even more than just great, it's just that I'd need time to adjust to it, that's all.
Best Parts in Harry Potter
'After all this time?'
'Always' said Snape."
This was the best part in Harry Potter for me, it's when the impression I had of Snape throughout the series changed. Who would have guessed he had a thing for Lily? I know I didn't. And to have been loving her through these years, even after she chose James over him is truly amazing.
“‘Look…at…me…’ he whispered. The green eyes found the black, but after a second something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.”
To know that the last thing Snape wanted to see was Lily's green eyes is such a lovely ending. Couldn't have been better.
Why did they have to exist?
"The words. Why did they have to exist? Without them, there wouldn’t be any of this. Without words, the Führer was nothing. There would be no limping prisoners, no need for consolation or wordly tricks to make us feel better. What good were the words?"
~ Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)
How Long?
Besides the scary idea of starting my final year, I generally dread going to school.. The load of work, worries and drama are things I avoid thinking about during summer break.. For how long though?
I gotta get my head straight, kiss the days of sitting-and-thinking-about-nothing goodbye and just enjoy what's left of it for now.
A Way Out
P.S I'm a Blue Block addict. Currently solving puzzle number 232.
The Other Side of the Line
Until I Have To..
"I will not feel, I will not
feel, until
I have to"
~ The Visiting Hour, Norman McCaig.
Every so often, we try to block out certain feelings.. It may be because we're afraid to experience them or we think that we're still not ready yet. But when the right time comes, you have no choice but to give in.. You feel like being numb on the inside but deep down, you're feeling what you previously chose not to. At the time, you think you won't bear it, to say the least, but ever so quickly, it'll be a part of you that you'd never want to be separated from.
Keep Writing!
So I've been asked about this quiet a lot, how do we get over it? Writing! Yes, pick up your pen and scribble whatever you could think of. Names, adjectives, recent events, anything but the point is to keep writing.
If that didn't do much help in racking your brain, try writing exercises, ask for topics and try as hard as you can to write about each one of them, as long as your pen is moving and you're pouring out your ideas then you're fine.
The first step that might be hard for all of us writers is the starting point. You do have an idea, which is brilliant but for some odd reason, you just can't start, mainly because you have no clue on how to go on about it. Don't think about it too much though, the starting point is very essential but the content matters too. Hence, once an idea hits your mind, get it down on paper! Who knows, it might be your inspiration in the upcoming struggle. Start plotting, then think of your audience, who are you targeting it to and most importantly, how do you want it to be read? Once you got the hang of it, you'll find that words come out so effortlessly.
I understood this from one of my favourite Young Adult author, Mary Hogan who when I asked for an advice about writing said that the only way to do so is to keep writing. The trick is to get both your pen and ideas flowing at the same time.
Happy writing!
Time
June passed by in a blur, even more frightening is that August is just around the corner. These two months have been like a dream to me, everything I ever wished for, and even those that I couldn't imagine possible.. came true.
I was caught in a whirl of time, not caring about which day of the month it is because for the first time in my life, I'm content with what I have in the real sense of the word. I'm also blessed to be surrounded by such great people that never fail to be there whenever I need and want them to.
My days felt like being in a roller-coaster.. One that you just don't want it to stop no matter what because all the ups and downs would surely lead to something so beautiful and magical eventually.
I'm forever grateful to whatever lead me to this point because when there's a change in your life, it doesn't mean it's for the worse. There's a good change and a bad one but for the time-being, I'll go on and on about how good the change I'm experiencing is.
Hope you all are having an amazing summer.
Quick Update
Other than that, I've started my holiday since the 13th and have been reading ever since. I'm trying my best to savour this summer indoors as I don't have any plans to leave the country. I'm determined to finish at least 30% of my unread books and review them for Omani Book Mania, can I do that?
Re-post: First Book Club Read
With the Harry Potter movies coming to an end in July 15th I thought it’d be fun to read (or re-read in the majority’s case) The Deathly Hallows book together. For those of you who are as excited as I am, you’ll enjoy re-reading again, only this time with your favourite peeps online.So how does this work?
We’ll start reading on the 13th of June, an opening post will be put up to announce the beginning of the challenge. I’ve divided the 35 chapters in 3 weeks. Meaning: 5 chapters in 3 days. On the third day, a post by one of us will be put up reviewing what he/she thought of the chapters, asking questions for you all to interact and comment on what you’ve discovered/learned or liked in these 5 chapters. To make it easier for all of us and in order to understand the arrangement of the days and chapters, I made this calendar (Which, I hope, is clear)
How is this different?
Well for one, we’re all reading together at the same. Second, we’ll be reading and sharing our comments on the go.
This is my first time arranging a book club and without you guys, your willingness and contribution, this thing would not work. This is just an idea, I can’t go on about it without your support and input. Thus I’d really appreciate if you would tell me beforehand if you’re willing to step in and be consistent with the group. If you’ve read The Deathly Hallows before and do not intend on reading it again, do come in to add your comments, discuss and let us know your thoughts. If you’ve not read the book, then hey, it’s a fun activity during your summer!
Leave a comment if you want to participate and if you have any suggestions or ideas, don’t hesitate to e-mail me on: omanibookmania@gmail.comPlease spread this message around, re-post, share the link, tweet it, email it, for all those bookworms out there who haven’t read the book or want to re-read it again. We want to make this happen and you can help us.
"Live It Up" Album Review
The first song I heard in this album and fell head over heels for is “Beautiful Like You” The lyrics are so catchy, the beats are absolutely amazing and his vocals in this song are so beautiful. It reminded me why I’ve been rooting for him in American Idol since day one.
My next favourite song is “Me & My Jealousy”, the lyrics are great too and the idea of the only company that is left is just yourself and your jealousy is quite haunting. The chorus however didn’t appeal to me that much. It goes off to a higher pitch after a calming beginning and ending. I think the arrangement is somehow messed up but that aside, I really adore this one too.
Third in line is “Only Dreaming” a bonus track in the album. The composed beats of this song gives off soothing vibes and the lyrics are nice. Lee’s voice here couldn’t have been more stunning. Listen to it here.
Next up is “Live It Up” which reminds me a lot of Jason Mraz’s style of singing and that’s probably the only reason why I like it. Listen to it here.
The last one which I totally hate is "Sweet Serendipity” It’s not what Lee’s used to sing and I have no idea what he was thinking when he recorded it. Such a turn off.
Bigger Than Just "Us"
I was in such a depressing mood last night that I downloaded Tumblr and started re-blogging inspirational pictures and quotes. I called my page "What inspires me" but that's not what this post is all about.
I was frustrated from many things and I started to waste my time by looking at these photos and sayings. When I typed in "Palestine" in the browse section, my eyes fell upon a most horrific sight. I immediately hit the 'Home' button but a single second was all it took for me to break down in tears. The picture was like nothing I've seen before, it stuck into my head from that one glimpse and I could describe its every detail : a dead little girl was wrapped in a Palestinian flag, her eyes wide open and she was laying in an opened coffin. Little girls, no older than 8 years old, were around her too and one of those in the front was crying, one looked liked she was screaming for help, desperate. Another had a surprised and scared impression on her face. I did not cry because it was hard for me to see all of these emotions packed in one shot, no, my reason was far more important than this. It was because these young innocent girls were subjected to such sights. I might have experienced just a second or two of the pain of staring at a dead body but these girls were and still are subjected to many for every single day of their lives.
Our worries are so much smaller in comparison to theirs. Our troubles do not stand a chance near what they have to go through for basic human rights; like sleeping in peace without army planes hovering over their roofs and the examples are countless. Life have taught them so much that they treasure the few minutes of quietness they get to sense.
We breathe the air of freedom everyday yet we don't realise how precious it is. There are problems in this world that are bigger than just "us". We should be thankful and start caring about them too.
Determination? Check!
How do I get over it? Well by trying to remind myself that I know what I am doing, that I can fool whoever but I can't fool "me". I can lie and then realize that I'd start believing the lie myself then it'll be one huge lie that I'd fall for.
Funny thing is, I know myself more than anyone does and I'm the only one who could either destroy or win over myself.
I need to work and focus with everything that I can to ace these things people like to call "finals" just so they could scare the hell out of us. As if the realisation that what we'll go through is not enough for us to understand that it's what determines our grades. As if being called ol' plain "exams" wouldn't make us grasp the stress period we'll get in so they just named it "Finals"
Alright! Bring it on! I have my pens and brain ready.
Originality, Does It Exist?
Stumbling upon this quote added up to my special collection of inspirational sayings. It got me thinking: how can one be original? Does the word original exist?What with all the distractions and other materials that we are showered with everywhere we turn our heads to. And I remember when I asked about what it was that inspires you and someone answered: "Everything, anyone". That is so true because usually you don't choose what inspires you. You just know and only realise it when it actually does.
Sources of inspirations, like most things, differ from one person to another. What might speak loud to you wouldn't necessarily be as clear to others and vice versa. “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to’’ that matters. I believe that holds up and there is so much truth in it.
At the end of the day, the significance of turning up with something big has a lot to do with how you transform it into, not to forget to give credit to all that inspired you in the same process. Because these small things that stir up something in you would definitely fill that void which have been empty for sometime. It is only these certain motivations that kick it up a notch, producing what is now considered as your own personal work.
Coming up to our first point; in the midst of it all, how can one be original? Does it even exist?
One can argue that it doesn’t, considering all the ready-made materials and imaginative worlds already created and crafted in front of our eyes that can be easily summoned within a click of the mouse.
However, you could be the only one that came up with an idea and actually applied it. Originality is related to application. If you want to be original, go out there and show what you got. Be creative, think outside the box and start working on your idea.
What's your take on originality? Do you think it even exists? And what inspires you? How do you usually act on it?
Article published today, 25th of May, on Oman Observer.
Official Launch of Omani Book Mania
www.omanibookmania.blogspot.com
Waiting for your feedback.
Happy May 16th
I've understood how to look at things from different perspectives, how it's alright to have first impressions on things while knowing they're not entirely true, how to overlook others' mistakes for I have my own to deal with, how to deal with my sudden outbursts by taking timeouts instead of taking it all out on my closest people. I've learned to get on with the fact that many would not like my honesty and that it's okay not to speak my mind if I wasn't asked to. I've concluded a lot of observations that may or may not be exactly accurate but I've realised that as long as I'm not going with the flow, I am alright. I also grasped the meaning of 'standing out of the crowd', it's not by what you plan to do but by what you've accomplished so far.
I've been lucky and fortunate enough to have great chances and to have my own column and to this day, I think it's all fantasy.. For it's hardly unbelievable that I get to write for a wider range of people. Not only that but I've been receiving some interesting e-mails from my readers (You know who you are) and since I'll be starting the Omani Book Mania soon, I'm exceptionally overwhelmed by the amazing support I got from my online friends (Again, you know who you are)
Last but not the least, I honestly believe that each person leaves a mark on your life, no matter how small it is but it's only the more visible one that stays with you in the long run.
Happy May 16th, and happy birthday to me.
Favourite Blogs
1) Dear Me by Faith. Her blog deals with her personal observations about certain topics where she shares videos, lyrics and poems based on her good choice. A good friend whom I had the chance to meet only once but still, I can never get bored of our late night chats.
2) خطوة A Step
by Faith, Spot, Phat'hi, G-chan and Sting. Enriching background information about Palestine. Follow them to get updates on all things Palestinian.
3) Kuwaitiful
by Kuwaitiful himself. Here you'd find unique findings from the net be it videos, news, or pictures.
(6) Fancy That... Fancy This
(7) Rebellious Arab Girl
(8) Muscat Mutterings
Follow Sythe to get updates of events currently happening in Muscat.
What about you? What are your favourite blogs?
New Project: Omani Book Mania
So, last Tuesday I created a blog called 'Omani Book Mania', specially dedicated to books and literature. And since Blogger had to fix its bugs yesterday, the blog got deleted. I’m only upset because I’ve spent more than 3 hours working on importing my book reviews from here to that blog and even though I have all the posts here, I edited and added so many details in them on there. Apparently, Blogger says that it restored ALL the data from Wednesday when mine was created one day before that. I don’t know if they’ll restore it but I’m still waiting till Monday before creating another all over again.
Anyways, here’s a quotation from the new blog that I had saved up:
Why 'Omani Book Mania'?
(1) I've searched around for an Omani-based blog about books, English ones to be exact and I couldn't find any. We can say it's one-of-a-kind in town.
(2) Sometimes, I get messages from different people to recommend books quickly when they're in a bookstore and I always reply late so before heading out, check this place for reviews and choose on your own.
(3) This is a special area for us readers to rave and rant about our latest reads, favourite authors and characters. Where you'll actually might find someone sharing same ideas as yours.
(4) I'll publish guest reviews as well. Remember: this is NOT a personal blog, but it's more of a readers' cafe to express their thoughts and share their reviews. You can e-mail them to me on: omanibookmania@gmail.com
The main purpose of this blog is to make it easier for all of you out there to get your hands on the right books. Here we will review and your only task is to choose what appeals to your taste and start reading.
In the mean time, I’d really appreciate it if you send your suggestions or queires about what I’m going to do for Omani Book Mania. Any ideas are more than welcome. If you’re interested in sharing your book reviews or being part of the team e-mail them here: omanibookmania[at]gmail[dot]com
Waiting to hear your thoughts!
Guilt & Failures
I’m a procrastinator by nature but the guilt that showers over me later is the reason why I’ve changed my behaviours and altered my ways. It used to frustrate me so much that I did not work hard at changing my routine and I was remorseful yet I didn’t take the necessarily steps into fixing my wrongdoings. I first thought it had to do with getting used to the change but then realised that time will certainly take full care of that. Only later did I realise how huge the guilt I had inside me that urged me to do something so that I’d be guilt-free once again.
On the other hand, failures and disappointments play a role in making up right decisions in the future. It is because what you’ve done in the past that you want to do right this time round. It teaches you self-monitoring and discipline.
Making never-ending promises and then not sticking to them does not work. On the contrary, it just makes you sick of hearing your own lies in the process. Words and actions are directly proportional to each other, neglect one and you lose the whole equation.
However, this can vary only if you remember what you’ve done in the past or are doing in the present. Learn from them, think twice and take great lengths and pains to change this time, not by mere spoken or written words but by real, solid actions, as you surely do care a great deal of not committing the same mistakes in the future. YOUR future.
Article published today, May 11th on Oman Observer.
Goodbyes & New Beginnings
Today, however, they invited us for Pizza in their class and soon the bell rang announcing the end of the day. They all started crying, more than yesterday and the atmosphere was so overwhelming that I couldn't help but think of how is it going to be when it is my turn to say goodbye. Would I cry? Would it be hard to part with my 9-years-long friends? I know it will but looking on the brighter side, it would mean getting what I have always wanted and that is to finish with school once and for all.
Tomorrow, and for the rest of the remaining days of this year, 12th graders won't be there. We'd miss chatting with them, laughing around and most importantly, their presence. But it gives me great joy knowing that they're going to a whole new world, the real world of adults and the responsibility that comes with it. And I honestly and wholeheartedly cannot wait for my turn.
"I Want To Explore On My Own''
That leads me to my next point which is reading about various things. What brought this up is a certain saying that mentions something along the lines that "I'd rather not read to explore on my own" and that sort of stopped me in my tracks for a while: reading gets you in the mind of other people; They write out an organized document of their opinions and by reading that, are you allowed to ponder more? Or do you just agree with all that's there thanks to the convincing evidence laid out in front of you?
Same thing with fictional writings and this deal with your imaginative side. Does reading about new worlds stop your creativity at some point? Does it leave a room for you to imagine when new cool universes are already created and crafted beautifully for you?
Coming from an avid reader, I'm expected to mention the numerous benefits of reading yet I can't help but fall trap in the other contradicting side as well. Reading does harm you only if you’re totally dependent on getting to know other’s views without having any of your own. The trick is to read, analyze, weigh your opinions, try to contradict and support your reasons with logical thinking. If a text could get you to think, then it already did its purpose and it’s left for you to muse over the thought, consider it more thoroughly to come up with your own opinion, leaving aside the author’s.
So are you the type that prefers to keep quiet and listen without having a say in certain conversations? Or are you the one who reads, depending on others’ thoughts or rather choosing to think things through in order to have a clearer view on your point?
Published today, 4th of May on Oman Observer
180 Degrees
That's when the 'personal' factor set in. I thought of changing my blog's settings to "private" then decided against it. I don't want to select a few of you to read MY crazy mind thus I give YOU that option of whether you'd want to read more into my personal thoughts and issues. Maybe you could help me. Maybe you'd find that we share the same kind of perspectives or even misconception of things.
I wouldn't consider it as disclosing my personal problems to the public because I know we all have ones so why would anyone care about reading mine? On the contrary, it'd be more of a journey through life's tough challenges which I'll speak about freely, adding personal experiences and opinionated takes on certain aspects.
Reason why I'm doing this is because I'm straight out honest in my conversations with others in real life, I'm not afraid to tell you what I really think of you in front your face and I ought to do the same here. I hated the fact that I kept speaking in most of my posts in a general, formal manner. I have my column for that. But this, I decided, is my space. I can rant and rave all I want without feeling the slightest bit of guilt for boring my readers because you know, you can click the "x" button whenever you want.
Also, I'll work on changing the blog's theme, description and most importantly, the title. I don't hallucinate, I speak of real and logical topics.
So fasten your seat-belts, or rather let go of them if you don't feel comfortable enough to go on about reading my blog and let the journey begin..
Unusual Confession
What's worse than knowing you're guilty is when you are not doing anything about it. I want to change myself but I'm not working hard at it. Why? I simply don't know and it frustrates me so much. I want to be different. I want to alter my behaviors. I want to fix my routine. Yet, after admitting all that, I am not changing anything. I know I should but I think I'm afraid to start.
Maybe because I'm not used to it but time will take care of that. Maybe I need to be guilty enough to feel the great mess I'm putting myself into although I've experienced it many times before so why haven't I learned anything? Again, saying this means I have understood yet why am I not willing to change my ways now it self, before it's too late? What am I waiting for? More failures to come my way than they already are? If that's what it takes then I've been there many times before yet ( and I'd overuse this word if I had to) yet... I am still standing here, doing nothing.
Should I feel ashamed? I am. Guilty? I am. Penitent? I am. What else does it take to move me? To open up my eyes to what I have done or have been doing till now? What does it take to realise what my wrongdoings have resulted to? I said I'd change. I said I'd not go through the same path as before but that is where I keep going everytime I promise myself not to. I'm sick of my never-ending promises. I'm sick of my guilt. I'm sick of not trying hard enough. Heck, I'm even sick of myself.
I'd take great lengths and pains to do this. I WILL change this time, not by mere spoken or written words but by real, solid ACTIONs. Take notes, world, I don't give a damn if I mistook in the past or the present. But I sure do care a great deal of not committing the same mistakes in the future. MY future.
Missing My Best Friend
Whenever depression clung its claws on me, I would sink into total darkness, a blackout, whose light of hope was him. He would take me out with such grace as if I did not go through what I did before his arrival, just like my own knight in his shining armor. No matter how far I have distanced myself from him, he would welcome me back, arms wide open, reassuring me that I belong right there, with him. He would stay with me all night long, listening to everything I had to say. Regardless of my many imperfections, he stuck with me throughout, reminding me of my perfections.
When everyone used to turn their backs on me, he was the one I would immediately head towards. Even though it was almost impossible to let my heart out at first, he never failed to make me feel at total ease.
Again, he remained silent: something I have always adored about him. Sometimes, the best conversation is that of pin drop silence. I used to do all the talking and it did not bother him one bit.
Often, I can not help but think that I am getting good at chatting with him. I even believe it's a special talent of mine. With him around, I discover my hidden thoughts, what I would not dare to utter out loud to anyone. I know he would not answer most of my questions but I never gave up trying for he gives me hope and teaches me patience.
Here's a promise from me: I shall get back to my pen, my best friend without whom my life would be meaningless.
Dr. Mohammed AlAwadhi in Oman
A Letter From A Mother of a Shaheed
أنا أم جزائرية ثكلى، استشهد ابني على يد القناصين من قوات الكتائب الليبية التي تم تزويدها من عندكم بالبنزين والامدادات والذخيرة.
إنني أوجه صرختي إلى الشعب الجزائري الذى كنت يوما افتخر بانتمائي إليه أنا وباقي الأمهات والأخوات والأبناء والبنات أناشدكم وأقول لكم حرام حرام حرامٌ عليكم نحن أولادنا قُتلوا من قِبل قوات الزنادقة الجزائرية. وبناتنا اغتصبنَ من قبلهم أيضا، فأين أنت أيها الشعب الجزائريُ أيها الشعب الأبي العربي الذى تعتزُ بعروبتك أنني أناشد كل أم وكل أب وأخ وأخت أن يستيقظ ويؤازر الشعب الليبي.
أنني أم شهيد جزائرية الأصل مقهورة على أبني وأبناء هذا البلد الكريم، الذين سقطوا تلبية لنداء الواجب والحرية، الذين استشهدوا دفاعا عن الوطن ورفضاً للظلم والقهر والاستبداد. أستيقظوا انهظوا افعلوا شيئاً لصد هذة المهزلة التي تعززت أمداداتها من عندكم ليُقتل بها أبناءُ هذا الشعب الأعزل،أمٌ تصرخ بأعلى صوتها صرخة ألم و نجدة موجهة إلى الشعب الجزائري وتقول لكم ياأخوتي الجزائريين تذكروا عندما كنتم فى محنة أيام الحرب من وقف معكم؟ من ساندكم؟ نحن ساندناكم نحن آزرناكم و اليوم جاء دوركم لإنقاذِ أولاد يموتون و بنات يغتصبن ، نناشدكم مراراً ومراراً.
أن تهبوا ياشعب الجزائر الأبي وكونوا معنا لوقف هذا الدم نحن اخوة العروبة أخوة الإسلام نناشد كل العرب لوقف هدر دماء أبنائنا و هتك أعراض بناتنا كفى كفى ........ و يبقى صوت الحرية صارخاً صامداً دائماً وأبداً ضد العدوان
Phones Comparison
On a Samsung Corby
1. There's no auto correct, I had to use the T button thingy that would give me options which weren't related to what I was going to say in any way possible.
2. The twitter's app I used to have had little options and only displayed a maximum amount of 6-8 tweets per page. Ignoring the huge font size, that is.
3. Thanks to #2, I had to log on Twitter from Mobile Web which was a serious pain on my rather weak eyes.
4. To Twitpic, I had to log on Twitpic.com, upload a picture, press on the link to redirect me to it then post a comment so that it's shared on Twitter.
5. To reply on a tweet, there's a reply button which, again, directs you to another page with the tweep's handle (thankfully!) But when replying to a tweet with multiple handles, I had to type them on my own. Which obviously required learning the exact handles with every number or underscore.
6. No quote retweet option.
7. No copy option.
8. No e-mail checking configuration thingy. Okay there was but I just couldn't put all the info in the mailing wizard that required a lot of connection type kind of crap.
9. No YouTube. Again, there was but you'd have to wait for ages in order for that '4%' buffering signal to change so I simply didn't bother.
10. Blogger would take forever to load and if it did, you simply can't type in the box beneath the New Post button.
11. No apps or games or any fun material (you'd have to log on the Samsung site but you'd need a code or some complicated stuff)
There are a lot of points to add but these got on my nerves the most. Fortunately, I have an iPhone4 now and wouldn't have to worry about any of the above!
Nine Facts
(1) Whenever I take the first initiative into making change, no matter how small this might be, I feel good about myself and I wouldn't let anyone make me feel otherwise.
Sohar Protest #2
3 Things I'm Grateful For
سوفَ نـبـقـى هُـنا
سوف نبقى هنا كي يزول الألم
سوف نحيا هنا سوف يحلو النغم
رغم كيد العدا رغم كل النقم
سوف نسعى إلى أن تعم النعم
سوف نرنو إلى رفع كل الهمم
بالمسير للعلا ومناجاة القمم
In Mohammed Nabbous' Memory
Mohammed Nabbous or ''Mo'' is the founder of Libya AlHurra TV; a private station that provided the world with news and on-ground footages from Benghazi, Libya. On 19 of March, he was shot in the head by a sniper by pro-Gaddafi troops. Ever since the beginning of the revolution, Mohammed's been wandering the dangerous streets of Benghazi, shooting videos and pictures of the regime's crimes that haven't been aired to let the world know what's going on without censorship. He founded the channel on livestream and people have started following his videos since Feb 17th.
I haven't known him personally, but his sister, a teacher of mine is so proud of him and for what he's done. A real hero, 28 years of age, lost his life and left his wife behind him and a yet-to-be-born son. Mohammed's famous statement is this "I am not afraid to die, I am afraid to lose the battle." And inshAllah, his son would come into this world and get to live in a free country, a free Libya.
الله يرحمه ويغمد روحه في الجنة إن شاءالله
Is It Too Much To Ask For?
It's The Small Things...
11.3.09
Sick Leave: Day 3
[Guest Book Review] ولدت هناك، ولدت هنا
وُلدتُ هناك، وُلدت هنا.. كتاب يعطي الجواب.
الكتاب مزيج من قصص فردية ووقائع تاريخية وإنسانية.. مزيج يحكي واقع إنسان.. مريد وهو فلسطيني تزوج رضوى المصرية ليمنع النظام في مصر إبوته لتميم، ومن وجوده لجانب رضوى زوجته، الأديبة المصرية.
اروع ما في الكتاب هو إنسانية محتواه:
تكون اسرة فلسطينية مصرية..
كيف يعيد لإبنه "فلسطينيته" وكيف يعيد "فلسطين" لإبنه..
أسرة فلسطينية في زوبعة الشتات
وأخيرا.. النهاية.. التي كانت هي البداية..
كيف ضاع العمر؟ كيف ضاعت فلسطين؟
بعد أن كنت اجتزت شوطا كبيرا في قراءة هذه الرواية، قررت أن تجربة قرائتها ستكون أحلى، لو تعرفت على مريد، ورضوى، وتميم.. ولكم أن تجربوا هذا أيضا..
Muscat Lecture Tweetup
Day: Monday.
Date: 7th of March.
Time: 7.00 PM - 10.30 PM.
Venue: City Theatre, Qurum National Park.
Since a lot of my followers were planning on attending this lecture I thougt to create a Tweetvite page to make it as a tweetup where we can meet, have fun and enjoy. You can RSVP on Facebook or on the #MctLectureTweetup on Twitter here.
To know more about Youth Vision, visit their site: HERE.
من أجمل ما قرأت
أنا أضعف شخص في هذا الاجتماع، أنا بلا حزب وبلا فصيل وبلا يد تحميني في ما تسمونه الحكومة وبلا شلة تناصرني في أي مكان لكنني أملك هذا... ورفعت قلمي بيدي اليمنى عاليا أمام عينيص 209 من وُلدت هناك، وُلدت هنا لمريد البرغوثي
Sohar Protest
For keeping up with the up-to-date minutes follow this #Sohar hashtag on Twitter but please don't believe EVERYthing you hear or spread it in fact.
To make it clear for all of you out there, Omanis are not protesting for change in regime, on the contrary, they're fighting for some political reforms. It was supposed to be a peaceful protest but something, somewhere might have gone wrong when the protesters put a gas truck on fire. Police stepped in by firing rubber bullets and tear gas. And that's that.
Once again, we do not want this to get any further if it means causing chaos and distruption in our beloved country. So please go back to your homes and come back only when you're ready to carry out a civilized protest; not riots and havoc.
Dear Someone...
You've been ruining my life ever since I was 6. Sure, it was fun playing around with you, even I can admit that but sometime later dealing with you just became very hard. I've thought a lot about killing you, destroying you but knowing that I don't have the power to, I couldn't. You started possessing my mind and thoughts ever since I realized I was doomed. You're the first thing I think of in the morning. Not because I love you, no, the amount of hate I have towards you is so much bigger that I can't see others when you're in line.
When you're around, I become very weak. My mind goes off to different places all at once just by feeling your presence. I've avoided all those who were related to you for the fear of being reminded of you as with them your odor filled in, your scent that changed the whole atmosphere for me. A lot have urged me to change my attitude; maybe then you'd soften up a bit. Maybe, they said, I'd fall in love with you just like others have.
Know that I've tried, more than you'd ever know but I've been failing repeatedly. You've never captured my heart. I tried to admit you in, keep a place for you, hoping that someday, somewhere you'd finally belong there. Above all, you should know that I did all of this not because I wanted to, on the contrary, because I had to. There was no other way to survive than admitting you're a part of me; an essential one at that.
You confuse me to bits. I can’t think straight without messing up big time. You shatter my self-confidence into a tiny, million pieces. When asked about you, my heart beats a billion times per second that I could feel it bursting out of my chest. Even though I might not know everything about you, I feel like a total idiot when speaking about you. Your problems puzzle me, your words are unfathomable. Reading your expressions is as hard as a dyslexic reading a first grade textbook.
I could go on and on about the things that irritates me about you but I’m afraid the ink would rip this letter and you wouldn’t get to read what I wrote above. It saddens me that we’d never gotten on terms before but I’d like to keep it that way. God only knows how I’d end up if you’re going to spend the rest of my life with me.
One last thing dear Math: I hate you with a passion.
Not yours truly,
Kitten.
[Documentary] The Cove
Don't Drag Your Kids With You!
Reading & I These Days...
The thought of my permanent loss of interest in reading frightens me beyond belief. I may go overboard with it when I say that I have more than 5 books on my night-stand in order to remind me to read again. I would pick one, read from where I left and close it, then pick up the next and the circle goes on with the other novels. This started by the beginning of my two-weeks-long holiday. Maybe it was the effect of watching TV. I've been reading few pages of a certain novel and stopping. Then picking another one and stopping all over again. Why, if you may ask?
Well, I've duelled much on how to answer this between myself and I and I've came up with the only sane reason I could master to find: It's hard to find something that would grab my attention from the first page itself. If not the writing style then it's the plot or vice versa. Thinking back, I've never felt this way before: That I cannot find a worthy novel to spend my time on. Maybe I'm getting old? Or my attention-span is so short that I get bored easily? I don't know.
Free Egypt
Dilemma
There's just too much going on in the world and I hate how we're not giving them any support. You'd see some of us Arabs blaming those young people who gave up on everything and sacrificed their lives in order to have a dignified living when others out there call this destruction and causing chaos and disruption. I'm not one to get into politics but to see all these protesters holding on for more than 2 weeks is truly magnificent and utterly inspiring for all of us here. It's more than mere pleas of help; it has a lot to do with claiming ones' rights and speaking up their mind no matter how dangerous it is.
The past weeks have never been easy on the Egyptians in Tahrir square; they've fought mobs, thugs, tear gases, bullets, hunger, discomfort amongst other things. All of this to let their voices heard to those who have forgotten how to listen and might never will. Such heartless people exist everywhere but it didn't stop the protesters from doing what they believe to be life-changing to live decently and in peace once again.
Last night's interview with the detained (Head of Marketing at Google in the Middle East and Africa) Wael Ghonim gave a new meaning to the revolution. He was arrested by the Egyptian military for 12 days and have been blindfolded for that amount of time. Ghonim was released only last night and this was his interview with Mona, a show presenter on Dream TV 2; Part 1, 2, 3 and the emotional, tensed final part of the interview here if you've missed it:
Misunderstood Hijab Concept
I've spent ages trying to find another version of this video that actually lets you hear what they're talking about instead I only found that. It's basically an episode of Jessica Simpson's: Price of Beauty show featuring in Morocco.
There are certain things I'd like to point out;
(1) When asked about why women cover up, one of the Moroccan girls answered ''To preserve ourselves for our husbands". I'm sorry but that's about the ridiculous-est thing I've ever heard. Where's the religious part of this? Wearing hijab or covering up have never been a cultural thing, I beg to differ, it has everything to do with Islam. If the question in hand was ''Who are you allowed to uncover in front?'' then your husband might be the right answer. Islam honours women by giving her a value; instead of being judged on the amount of skin she shows or what designer's brand she's wearing, she should be judged by her actions and the way she carries herself in society.
(2) The girl 'Laila' in the video was a jerk, a totally ignorant woman that shouldn't have been there to present her 'idea'. She was the liberal type-of-person and blamed Jessica for showing a big part of her legs when she was wearing a low-cut top . Laila thought Jess was offending the culture when she was a good damn example of that.
I have nothing against Moroccans but I just think that the situations mentioned above only gives a bad idea of what our Islamic and Arabian culture is all about.
/End of blog post. Just had to let that out. Good night.