Goodbyes & New Beginnings

Today was the last day of school for grade 12. Our class was next to theirs and we are the only two classes that spent most of the breaks or free times together. We treated them as friends, we invited them to our parties and just yesterday we threw a surprise party for them, bringing cakes, drinks and deserts. We had to ask their homeroom teacher to call them in and the moment they entered, we all screamed 'Surprise' and that's when everyone broke into tears, crying and hugging each other. We then celebrated and had the time of our lives during the next four lessons.

Today, however, they invited us for Pizza in their class and soon the bell rang announcing the end of the day. They all started crying, more than yesterday and the atmosphere was so overwhelming that I couldn't help but think of how is it going to be when it is my turn to say goodbye. Would I cry? Would it be hard to part with my 9-years-long friends? I know it will but looking on the brighter side, it would mean getting what I have always wanted and that is to finish with school once and for all.

Tomorrow, and for the rest of the remaining days of this year, 12th graders won't be there. We'd miss chatting with them, laughing around and most importantly, their presence. But it gives me great joy knowing that they're going to a whole new world, the real world of adults and the responsibility that comes with it. And I honestly and wholeheartedly cannot wait for my turn.

Unusual Confession

Disclaimer: This is not your every-day post to read written by the girl-next-door, Kitten. Be prepared.

What's worse than knowing you're guilty is when you are not doing anything about it. I want to change myself but I'm not working hard at it. Why? I simply don't know and it frustrates me so much. I want to be different. I want to alter my behaviors. I want to fix my routine. Yet, after admitting all that, I am not changing anything. I know I should but I think I'm afraid to start.

Maybe because I'm not used to it but time will take care of that. Maybe I need to be guilty enough to feel the great mess I'm putting myself into although I've experienced it many times before so why haven't I learned anything? Again, saying this means I have understood yet why am I not willing to change my ways now it self, before it's too late? What am I waiting for? More failures to come my way than they already are? If that's what it takes then I've been there many times before yet ( and I'd overuse this word if I had to) yet... I am still standing here, doing nothing.

Should I feel ashamed? I am. Guilty? I am. Penitent? I am. What else does it take to move me? To open up my eyes to what I have done or have been doing till now? What does it take to realise what my wrongdoings have resulted to? I said I'd change. I said I'd not go through the same path as before but that is where I keep going everytime I promise myself not to. I'm sick of my never-ending promises. I'm sick of my guilt. I'm sick of not trying hard enough. Heck, I'm even sick of myself.

I'd take great lengths and pains to do this. I WILL change this time, not by mere spoken or written words but by real, solid ACTIONs. Take notes, world, I don't give a damn if I mistook in the past or the present. But I sure do care a great deal of not committing the same mistakes in the future. MY future.

The Hidden Future

Have you ever thought of how you’re going to be like and where in let’s say...10 years from now on? I know I do think about this every waking moment. I stress on what might lie ahead yet try to focus on the present time.

Sometimes, I just doze off and daydream of the future, of my older version and what I might be doing at that exact moment, I try as hard as I can to feel the moment, sense it so it could at least become a reality, my present, even for a short while.

People find it weird but I still do it. I can’t wait to know how I’d be like in 10 years, what’s my occupation, or if my attitude would change or not. It gets frustrating at times but I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Having said that, I plan to lead the same life as now of course with minor changes; not having to wake up early in the morning to attend school, for example, or meet my friends 5 times a week. I am afraid that when I grow a bit old that I might change, or my perspective might change on different things because I obviously like things the way they are.

But then again, I am known for my dislike for change. I’ve tried to convince myself that change doesn’t necessarily mean to be bad, that for once, it can result to the total opposite of my ideas, to the better.

What about you, readers, what’s your perspective of change? Are you afraid of it as much as I am?

And since I've blogged way too much this weekend, I shall leave you all with my favourite song:

[Book Review] Who Moved My Cheese?

An entertaining yet simple story that reveals the profound truth about change. The story talks about four characters making their way through the Maze in search for Cheese.

The four characters have different ways in finding Cheese and when it was no longer there, they showed different attitudes towards it, the same as human beings attitude towards change. The author choose the imaginary characters based on parts of all of us.

::The Mice::

Sniff: Who sniffs out change early.
Scurry: Who scurries into action.

::The Little People::

Hem: Who denies and resists change as he fears it lead to something else.
Haw: Who learns to adapt in time when he see changing can lead to something better.

Every day, the four characters enter the maze and face various obstacles in an attempt of reaching their final goal that is finding Cheese. On the their way, they find a limited amount of Cheese that satisfied their needs for the day, but when they finally discover the endless supply of it in Cheese Station C things begin to take a new course when they took the current situation for granted.

One day, the cheese disappears and the Mice immediately take action, while the Little People, Hem and Haw complains about it. It is then that Haw realizes the silliness of their action and makes a move; meanwhile Hem refuses to accept the fact and move on.

Haw brings about a fascinating approach of dealing with change and scribble down motivational sayings on the wall of the Maze.


It takes about less than an hour to enjoy and grasp the content of this book. A well written, simple and informative master piece that benefited a great deal of people (be it in their daily life or in the business world).

A movie was produced based on this book too;