A Draft [1]

A draft of a new story I started with yesterday.

Comments are welcomed, and criticism is appreciated.

Shapes kept swirling and speaking in a language she couldn’t fathom. She tried approaching them, thinking that’ll do, and it did. Her mom was crying her eyes out and just close by were her little siblings, weeping, and wondering about their mother’s weird behavior. ‘Why’s mommy crying?’ the youngest one of them asked Linda with looks filled with anxiety. Linda opened her mouth, wanted to utter a word, but she knew she couldn’t, so she just shut it. Watching her steps, she hurried to her mom and soon enough, she understood the whole thing. The words repeated themselves in her mind, various images that haunted her memory showed up in a perfectly clear picture; their new life. She couldn’t help but feel hatred she’d always knew would form after this towards her dad, her friend whom she trusted and loved. She’d been right all along. That one day, the feelings she always had for him would surely change. If it wasn’t back then, then it defiantly will now. Again, she felt the rush of emotions overwhelming her; insecure, lost and loneliness. Linda tried her best to shrug the past off, the past that’ll no longer come back. She had to force those ideas away, but a girl can dream, right? She thought sheepishly.

The annoying voice echoed through her room like it did every single morning. She woke up thanking God that it was a dream, and as always, feeling cranky as hell. Washing her face, she looked up at her own reflection, seeing her face for the first time in days. She wondered about the amount of kilos she might have lost, but thought it didn’t really make much of a difference anymore.

The atmosphere was as suffocating as ever, but she decided she couldn’t care less, or that’s what she thought anyway. Walking down the staircase, her mom looked up on her daughter looking rather pale and absent-minded.

I shouldn’t interfere. It’s none of my business after all. I’m just a kid; would this make me achieve something? No, I guess I should just come off it already. It’ll bring nothing to me but trouble and depression. The same thoughts swirled in her mind as she began dressing up and getting ready for the big day, the day that’d decide which path her life would take.

Inspired by a dream of my own.
Thanks for reading.

Chapter- 2
Chapter- 3


Nabaa Baqir said...

Mashallah, I really enjoyed reading it. Wala k2anah it is written by a 15 years old girl!
Looking forward for the next part =]

Maryam said...

Found out how old I am, haven't you? Thank you, appreciated. Give me one more week, and I'll be done with the second part.

Zaytoon Wo Za3tar said...

So mysterious.
Can't wait for the next part ^^

Read "Perspective" and commented =P

Maryam said...

Wasn't sure if there's going to be a second part, but now I am. Thanks for stopping by, G. And I just saw your comment on 'Perspective'.

sanoop said...

great. i enjoyed it