The Journey [1]

A series of posts inspired by a line in a nasheed that says;

والله مافي هذه الدنيا الذ من اشتياق العبد للرحمن

It is about a journey that I went through and would like to share it with you all.

A few nights ago I sat with my little sister and made her listen to هي جنة لحمود الخضر She was fascinated by the idea of living in Heaven eternally and the description in the nasheed made her eager to hear more about Jannah and how to get there..

It made me reflect on how far I've gotten with my own faith, with my connection to Allah. I haven't been the good Muslim so to speak for a long time, I used to go on with my prayers as a routine and never fully get into that calm state of serenity.. Until I desperately needed to reconnect with Allah. It was at this particular time of my life where I felt so alone, like I needed to know who I was and what I was in order to go about my day. Something bad happened.. It left me weak and vulnerable and plain sad. It dragged me into the hallways of depression and I thought to myself that I'd forever stay there, that this is it for me.

During many sleepless nights, I couldn't help but wonder if what I was doing to myself was rational, because I knew the way out of all this was to get back to my senses and think straight. I began to understand that everything happens for the reason, that Allah had this written for me so there is a good thing coming out of it eventually.. I learned to look at the bright side, I learned to accept the situation, embrace it even. I began feeling peaceful when I was in the darkest stage of my life and on the sound of the athan, I'd make the wudu and spread my sijaada on the floor and start praying.. It calmed me down completely, it made me realise how beautiful it is when you turn to Allah in your time of need. Whenever you feel down or hurt, just turn to the one who will always be there, who will listen to your prayers because he's السميع العليم

Sub7an Allah, no matter how far away we drift from him, He will always be there for us.

يقول عز وجل في كتابه الكريم في سورة البقرة، الأية رقم 186

{وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِي إِذَا دَعَانِي فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ }

And when My servants ask you, [O Muúammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.
Surat Al Baqarah, verse no. 186

This is a da3wa from Allah to us; whatever you need, pray to Him.

I took comfort in the 5 daily prayers. I began to look forward to them because they were the only times that I would leave everything else that didn't matter behind me and fully be there, in mind, body and soul, focusing on what's important, on why I'm here and that's nothing but to worship Him. It gave me a sense of utter peacefulness, to feel that Allah is watching over me.. He made this happen for a reason, and what better reason than to reconnect with him?


Beautiful Stranger said...

I've just come out of that dark place myself. It made me realise something, you know. Everything happens for a reason. We just sometimes get the reasons all confused, at least at first. Maybe Allah intended for whatever happened to you to happen to get you reflecting. Nothing like a slap on the face to get us back on track:)

Maryam said...

^ My thoughts exactly, thanks for reading.

Arwa said...

Awwh this touched me, sometimes we get so busy so into life that we forget to take a break & just pray, it makes everything that much better. Wish I can favourite this article

Salima Al Masrouri said...

Such a beautiful post.
I know how going through all that exactly means. It makes you cherish the fact that Allah is always there for us, when whom we think are closer to us turn out not to be really close enough to even care.

I believe that we will be happiest when we realize that Allah is the only constant thing in our lives. Everything else changes 'cause that's thier nature.

May you be blessed this day and everyday <3