Before You Know it

Time passes by like lightning. Before you know it, you’re struck down.

The same quote applies to my situation. I’ve been on a two weeks break and before it, I had all sort of plans to make the most of it, and guess what? I’ve only accomplished two of them:

1. Re-read The Deathly Hallows.
2. Write and finish a story [Shattered Hope]

~ It was planned that I’d get to attend the Disabled home-care centre, where I’d help out for 2 weeks, but I had transportation problems so that ruined the whole thing.

~ Visit our Quran’s school and help in teaching. The same above reason prevented me from doing so.

Also, start working on Harry Potter’s fanfiction starting from this section, precisely:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Chapter: Beyond the veil
Page: 710

Scene:

At the department of mysteries where Harry had fallen into the impression that Sirius was locked up with the Death Eaters on Voldemort’s order. Harry had seen through Voldemort’s mind that someone was being tortured and the dreams he saw were all of a tall corridor leading to the door of the Department of Mysteries. It’s then when he found the prophecy that has his name on it, as a group of Death Eaters close around him, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna.

I only wrote half a page and realized that I can’t compete with Rowling’s intelligence, although that’s not the point of it all, but I just created an excuse of my own, if you know what I mean.

Normally, I don’t watch TV unless a movie I’ve seen earlier is aired, so recently I got back to the habit of staring at the screen whenever.

::Movies::

Never Been Kissed
The whole story plot was lovely, and Drew pulled the young-ish look just fine. 9/10.

Fever Pitch
Basically, it was all about baseball and that was the point of the movie, till a bit of romance between Drew and her boyfriend was introduced. It’s wasn’t all that great, though. 4/10.

In Her ShoesOne of the best movies I've watched in a long time, and I wouldn't mind watching it again. Cameron Diaz shined in this movie. 10/10.

:: Shows::

The Simpson’s

Before, I couldn't watch 5 minutes of it and now I just can't get enough. I'm hooked, and you can blame Fox Series for it. It's on almost 24/7. Also, I watched it's movie and meanwhile, Fox series had the Simpson's series on. See? It's not my fault.

Make It Or Break It
It's a shame that it's on every other Thursday

American Idol
I don't know why I've started following it since day #1, as I've never been a fan of the show. Anyways, I think Lee has what it takes to win it, besides his hotness, of course :P





Though I don't believe in the whole Valentine's Day crap, I'm looking forward to the movie! Just take a look at all the stars cast!

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jessica Alba, Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Emma Roberts, Joe Jonas, Topher Grace, Patrick Dempsey, Queen Latifah, Jamie Foxx, George Lopez

And I'm a fan of romance comedy, not cheesy and entertains you at the same time.

The official trailer:


Here's for a bit of amusement on the same occasion,

Police in Saudi Arabia rid stores of red roses, heat-shaped things as Valentine's Day nears

Religious police in Saudi Arabia are cracking down on stores selling items that are red or in any other way allude to banned celebrations of Valentine's Day.

A Saudi official says policemen are inspecting shops for red roses, heart-shaped products or gifts wrapped in red, and ordering storeowners to get rid of them.

Such items are legal at other times of the year, but as February 14 nears they become contraband.

Saudi Arabia bans celebration of Western holidays such as Valentine's Day, named after a Christian saint said to have been martyred by the Romans in the 3rd Century.

Saudi has it's own way of dealing with this, but would it really stop people from celebrating it if there were not gifts to be gifted? I think not.

Shattered Hope [Finale]

Something so important that he could not text it…

Curiosity crept its way through me, making the wait unbearable. I never wished for anything so badly as much as I wished for owning some sort of magical ability of reading minds at these pregnant seconds.

'Hello' his deep voice echoed through my ears when I picked up the phone immediately after the first ring. It showed how desperate I am and I could not care less about it.

'Hey, what is it?' a yet clear demonstration of my anxiety though there are other thoughts that raced their way to my mind, taking control of all my senses.

'I…' He could not hide his hesitation either, and the doubts I had moments ago became crystal clear in front of me. 'I want you to be honest with me…do you really remember me from school?'

'Yes, I do' I answered, blindly.

'I know it was ages ago, as I also know that this might sound ridiculous but I do not give a damn…' he said it so fast that it sounded as though he was struggling for air, 'is there anything you want to tell me?'

'What!' I could not form the words or take control of anything that my mouth uttered, 'I mean, no, you said you had something to say', even though I was clearly stalling and lying, I hoped I was not that transparent and at the same time I reminded myself of how bad of a liar I was.

'Maria,' he breathed into the phone, sounding frustrated and I hated it. 'I know what I said…But, you did not answer my question yet' I could predict how his face might have looked like; eyebrows ceased, looking more curious than hopeless.

I sighed heavily, leaving him hanging in there and said after few seconds, 'yes, and it is not of highly importance than what you are going to say'.

He weighed his chances then said, 'I doubt it. Go on, I'm listening'.

'Just say it'.

'Okay,' he made up his mind and I was stupid enough to continue the conversation. 'You know back at school, I had a crush on you,'

Mohammed had a crush on me! ME!

'And... 'He wanted to finish, but I saved him only to realize that I've pushed myself into further troubles, 'I did too'.

Why, Maria, why!

My mouth acted before my brain, 'We were teenagers back then, Mohammed'.

'Ha-ha' he let out a nervous laughter and I joined him, and for a couple of seconds, it was just me and him on our own, laughing at our haunting past.

'When I first met you,' Mohammed said and my brain stopped functioning, 'Those feelings' he was finding the right words, 'sort of…came back'.

The world suddenly dissolved, containing me within it. Salty water streamed down my eyes and it was then that I knew I was crying. I walked to my room and hid beneath the duvet, not caring whether he was waiting for a reply or not.

I was speechless.

'Maria,' he said, and I opened my eyes and ears ready to hear what he had to say because I did not have what it took to reply.

'Aren't you going to say anything?' I had kept him waiting for one solid minute but what do I have to say?

'Listen', he continued, 'I don't expect you to have the same feelings. Just say something'.

'No, you listen to me!' I sobbed. It was the first time in my entire life to cry in the presence of someone other than my own self.

'You cannot just come up and say that!'

Why am I being so defensive?

'What we had before was nothing, and that was when you thought I was nothing'. I sobbed even harder, 'Were you even aware of my existence?'

'Please…' he pleaded, 'do not cry'.

'You cannot tell me what I am supposed to do' I snapped back.

'I'm not supposed to, yes, but I cannot bear the fact that you are crying because of me. I am not worthy of you....' he trailed on.

'I had a crush on you for four years', I said out of the blue, 'I do not expect you to know that'.

'I did too, Maria, I really did,' He confessed, 'but you had made sure that none knew any means of contacting you. How did you expect me to get to know you?'

He wanted to say something. I could not wait any more, 'Yes…' I urged him.

'And…' he said finally, 'and now that I did, I want us to start over'

'Mohammed, we were teenagers and I do not think that that was anything. It was just a crush' I said, wiping away my tears and sounding serious.

'You said it. I do not know about you, but there were some feelings left for me, and when I saw you again, I fell in love with you'.

This is not fantasy, wake up: He loves you.

'I love you, Maria', he finished, and my head spun around.

'Please tell me what I want to hear,' He pleaded again, 'Please…'

'Stop' I said it to the world, to myself, and to Mohammed, because I wanted things to be right when I said this, 'I have always loved you'.

'But,' I was not done yet, 'There are no second chances in love. Thanks for everything, Mohammed'

Click!

And that was the last time I ever talked to him again.

[Shattered Hope: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4]

---------------------------------------------

A/N: A friend of mine was surprised that I had actually included some sort of romance in a story, as she thinks that I don't 'believe' in this kind of things.

To make it clear for all of you, as every other piece of writings I've written, a dream inspired me to write this one too. The characters were all there and their emotions were portrayed, which made it rather easier for me to scribble them down and add a bit of my own take on it.

Thanks to everyone who followed Maria's story, and as you have read, she did not believe in second chances in love just as I don't like happy endings.

P.S I had lots of fun writing it; insisting on staying at my cousin's place because that's where ideas hit me, waking up at 2 AM to note the first few lines of every chapter, finding the right black-and-white pictures, not to mention, the constant excitement of wanting to know what would happen at the end, because Mohammed did seem to be a nice guy, don't you girls agree?

Shattered Hope [3]

Two more months and that is all, I kept telling myself.

Exams drew nearer and I could not spend as much time as I used to around Mohammed and his sister. My apartment was a mess so I spent nearly the entire days at the library, researching or studying.

Even though it was hard to, I had to deny lots of other invitations from Rania’s part and it reached to a point where I had to switch off my phone and then come up with fake excuses for it. I wanted to get it over with so I could get back to my family, and pay full attention towards them, but studying for exams took all my time.


On rare occasions, I would spend some time at the coffee shop as a treat. I would stay there and think of nothing else than how I came to be and what they must be thinking of me; to appear out of the blue and then disappear!

I promised myself to make it up for them so on Friday evening, after having done a double share of studying; I called up Rania and asked her if we could go to the movies together, plus Mohammed. She was all over the place about my idea and a couple of hours later, we were on our way to the theatre.

‘Look who’s here!’ Mohammed said when we first met after weeks. He had a wide grin on his face that made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

'Hey' I replied shyly.

'Ready to go?' Rania asked, interrupting our conversation.

We ended up watching a comedy movie, and I really needed to have some laughs. For dinner, Mohammed had an early reservation at a restaurant. The food was delicious as Rania and I ordered what Mohammed recommended us.

Before any of us knew it, the perfect night ended and we had to say goodbye.

Next morning, I stopped at the closest coffee shop as per usual and for a moment, I was positively sure that my mind was playing tricks on me again.

He had just entered.

I thought of hiding, disappearing into thin air, or simply walking out before he notices me but it was too late –

'Morning sunshine' he said to me, and sat right across my table, talking on his phone. I nodded, smiling.

What should I do, oh what should I do?
He seemed busy. I should go. It's either now or never! The inner voice kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

Even though, the real voice, that is mine, was insisting on staying. I mean how bad can I be in a verbal conversation? And it's not like we're sharing the same table. Besides, I'll just finish my coffee… and read a few pages of my novel…

'Am I allowed to share your table?' He asked.

I'm dead.

'No', he was taken aback, 'After consideration, I'll have to say yes you may' I finished.

STOP flirting!

'Thanks, your majesty', he mouthed the words and we sat in silence till the waitress took his order.

'So, how are you feeling this morning?'

'I'm alright, what have you been up to lately?'

'I've been on a break so it's all about hanging out with friends and stuff'.

'Cool…'

'Listen…' he took the coffee and stood up, 'I have to be somewhere else. This guy wants me to pick him up' addressing the phone he had on his other hand. 'Talk to you later?'

'Yeah…' I said.

'Laters' he grinned and waved goodbye.

Phew, that went well.

At the end of the day, I dropped down on the sofa and started reading, but the SMS made it impossible for me to finish the page.

- Good evening :) What r u doing?

- Hey, I just started reading a book.

- Good. There's something I wanted 2 talk 2 u about.

- Go ahead.

- No, I can't say it here. Can I call u?

- Sure.

What's going on his mind? I desperately wanted to know.

[Shattered Hope: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4]

Shattered Hope [2]

7:30. it’s time.

Purple always looked good on me, I assured myself.
I wore a purple empire-waist top with black jeans, and then eyed my reflection. Should I add accessories?

I entered the kitchen, took the chocolate cupcakes bouquet and placed it on a plate, trying to make it look as homemade as possible.

On the way to the door, I ran back to my room, snatched my handbag and took a final glance at my face. I looked so damn happy.

Outside, the sky was starless, not a single spark illuminated the dark night. Walking quickly past the two buildings, I stopped to a halt on the doorway of the third one. I read his address card again,

Third floor, Apartment no. 38

After taking control of my breath and steadying my heartbeats as I chose to climb the stairs, I ringed the bell.

No answer. Maybe they have changed their minds. But why didn’t he inform me? Perhaps hating to sound rude? Though this is beyond rudeness, if you ask me...

Click. Someone removed the metal chain of the door, and it swung open, and I started feeling dizzy already.

‘Hello, you must be Maria’ the most lovely-looking women said, welcoming me in. It’s running in their genes; good looks.

‘Yes, and you’re Mohammed’s sister.’ It was more of a statement than a question, ‘Please,’ she gestured for me to take a seat, ‘Call me Rania’.

‘Rania....’ I mumbled, ‘you have a nice name.’

‘Thank you’ she positioned herself next to me, and said, ‘I’m glad you could join us tonight, I was not sure you would actually. I know how it feels like, visiting us for the first time and all’

We are surely going to be best friends, I dreamed on.

‘No, not at all’, I lied, ‘we are a family now....’ Why did it sound so cheesy?

‘Exactly,’ she nodded with a gentle smile, ‘I’ll check something out and come back, make yourself at home’.

My eyes wandered the living room, starting from its paintings to its decorations, it all looked…cozy, like home; just as she said. Where was he? I wondered for the first time. My thoughts were caught up with giving a good first impression and maintaining my cool that I did not have the time to think of him.

'Mohammed was on the phone right now,' Rania said while taking her seat again, 'he would not be able to make it tonight. He's required to stay for another discussion even though it's quiet late' she stared at her watch for a second or two as an anxious mother.

'I see…' Why today of all days? I wanted to cry out loud.

Remembering what I had in hand, I placed the plate of cupcakes on the table. She thanked me and we started organizing the table for dinner. We laughed, talked about stupid childhood memories as though we shared the same ones, like good old friends do.
One hour and a half was all it took for me to get used to Rania, her unique and wonderful personality was amusing, and she sure had a bit of her brother's sense of humor.

We hugged good-night and I went back to my apartment, not knowing whether to regret or appreciate Mohammed's absence for tonight.

By the time I reached home, disappointment washed over me.

He was supposed to be there…

I felt betrayed, and the weather was not helping so I tucked under the blanket, fighting to keep my eyes open for a reason I did not know.

Toot...toot...toot...toot...

A far away voice yet it felt near pulled me out of my dream and blurred my vision until I heard it perfectly clear.

TOOT TOOT!

It was my phone. I fought my way to it and snatched it open. The message was from Mohammed…who's Mohammed? Oh, YES!

Through my obscured vision, I read:

Sorry 4 the disturbance, but I wanted 2 apologize. I couldn't skip the discussion lesson.

It was 9:45 and I must have dozed off for a good 30 minutes.

- Don't worry. Rania and I had a great time together.

- Sounds promising, she feels the same way too. I know it might sound weird but did I scare u off with this whole invitation thing from the 1st time?

- I thought it was nice of you to do so, really.

- I'm glad u think so :) one more thing, did I wake up u or something? What was I thinking, texting this late, anyways? =/

I thought of lying, but I could not.

- Well actually, you did, but I need to thank you for doing so, I had plans for something else.

- Haha. Sorry again. What kind of plans if u don't mind me asking?

- Watching TV..I think I should seriously work on switching it more often.

- U r not a TV person...hmm. Have fun.

- Yeah, good night.

- Night :)

Watching TV, for god's sake?! What's wrong with me?

I did watch TV eventually because I could not sleep that night and the weirdest idea came to my mind: I should tell him, and as scared as I was from confronting him, I forced myself to sleep at last.

Days passed by consecutively in a frightening pattern. I could not build up the courage to say what my mind tells me to. Mohammed and I became good friends after that night, we'd text each other every single day and sometimes he would call to recommend a good movie and we would watch it together, commenting on the silliest details through text messages.

It was easy that way, I told myself.

God only knows what I might say to end up embarrassing myself because I cannot be myself with him around. My anxiety and nervousness grew by the day and I decided to let the confrontation idea pass.

We are good now. There is absolutely no need to bring it up.

Rania and I hanged out as much as best friends do, or as close sisters do. We did our shopping together; went to the movies, or just whenever we felt like going out and having a girls'-only time. She worked nearby my University so we met twice a day, not to mention the constant chit-chatting on the phone.

She was the sister I never had.

[Shattered Hope: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4]