Neoteric Glance [Finale]

Neoteric Glance ~ Finale
By Kitten

A/N: The final part! Yes. Too soon? I understand and because I do, I chose to end it right now. Another idea of a story jumped into my mind two nights ago and I just knew I had to finish this one or the latter would vanish and this would clash with my thoughts for the upcoming one. I tried as hard as I can to lengthen the story but luck wasn't on my side during the process so why would it hit me now? Without further ado, you may proceed to find out what happens...

Ryan

I wanted to stand there, in case if she felt like coming out but I didn't know what to tell her exactly because, I decided, I was the stupidest man alive, a total failure, which is no surprise, at all. Even though I couldn't have known, I regret acting foolishly and admitting about what bothered me, I only knew later that I should have kept it to myself.

I hurt her beyond measure and I took full responsibility for that but I couldn't allow that scene to be the one that would end our relation. I wanted to be there for her no matter what, even if it were outside the borders of the school. At least, of that, I was sure.

Giving her time, I fought the urge to call Sarah for two long nights in which I spent in and out of sleep, reluctantly. Only on Sunday did I build up the courage to pick up my cell.

'Hello Kate. Can you send me Sarah's address?'

~*~

Nearly two minutes passed till I heard light footsteps on the other side. 'I'm coming', Sarah said.

She opened the door and was surprised to see me, of all people, standing there. 'Hey', I said immediately. It didn't take long for her to whisper back, 'Ryan. Hi'.

I then asked a simple question 'How are you doing?'

'Fine', was the word that pierced my ear the most as I knew for a fact that she wasn't.

'Sarah', I wanted to cut right to the chase and say it, 'I'm so sorry for your loss, I wouldn't have said a thing if I knew'.

'I am too', she said, in a distanced-voice that wasn't hers.

Then she gestured for me to come in. I walked inside her house knowing that there were people who lived here but no longer did. People whom were so dear to Sarah that she might have taken a long time to get over them and I brought their memories back, ignorantly.

The living room had a nicely decorated shelf containing over two hundred books, I assumed. The bookshelf was so wide that it covered the entire right side of the room and gave it a rectangular outline.

She followed my gaze and said, almost soundlessly, 'They used to be my Dad's'. At that, I couldn't breathe.

'They passed away in an accident', she whispered and I didn't bring myself to look at her face, her used-to-be cheery face that I forever distressed.

'Oh, Sarah', I exhaled heavily and went up to her this time. Sitting next to her made me realize how pale her face had become since the last day I saw her. She kept staring at her hands while speaking, 'A young driver hit their car. My Dad was driving and Mia and Lizzie were playing rock, paper or scissors at the back seat'. She smiled halfheartedly and continued, 'They all died at once'.

'Sorry', I choked out the only words I can say even if it wouldn't make any difference. Without thinking, I opened my arms and she fell right into them. She hugged me back so tight that I nearly gasped for air.

'They left me all alone', she sobbed, tears flowing right into my white shirt. 'Shhh', I wanted her to shake off this idea, 'if they had the choice, they wouldn't. No one would. I know I wouldn't ever leave you'.

We sat there for several minutes, Sarah crying and I, well, trying my best to sooth away her pain. Suddenly, she backed away from me and eyed my now-ruined shirt. 'I'm sure you didn't come here so that I could ruin your shirt', she said and reached her arms for some Kleenex. She wiped away her tears with trembling hands. 'If you ever felt like talking to someone', I started saying, 'then know that I'm here'.

When she nodded, I held both her hands between mine and said, 'Sarah, I know this isn't the time but, when I first met you, I knew you were different and that's when I became a different man. I had insomniac nights in which I began thinking of what I would do about my feelings, the ones that I have for you. My parents divorce forever changed me, made me sulk in a whole other world where its population was one person; me. And you, well, you amended that. Watching you every day with the kids made me get in touch with my little siblings that I haven't heard of in weeks and overall, enjoy the little things I had'. I felt like I said all of that in one breath. What the heck, I thought and finally said it, 'I like you, Sarah, very much, and I even think I'm falling in love with you'.

She seemed to digest all of this. God! This is way too much for one night, she must be thinking.

'Ryan' she said my name with a special tone that made me adore her every time she uttered it. 'I think I do too'. She smiled right this time because it reached to her eyes. 'Your arrogance and stubbornness makes you unique', she said and I felt my heart pounding hastily.

'Is that a good or a bad thing?' I asked, grinning.

*****

This may sound bossing around but, I would like you to give me honest comments on how to improve my writing. That being said, I also tried to get into the male character here (Ryan); Let me know if I did. And special thanks goes to Squinty, Naba and Rummy.

Neoteric Glance [4]

Neoteric Glance ~ Chapter Four
By Kitten

A/N: I know it's been a week but what can I do? Ramadhan is growing on me and I'm determined to a5tim the Quran this time, inshallah. Other than that, Ryan & Sarah keep fading in and out of my mind during the whole time so I wrote this one small chapter.

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Ryan

Waking up on the next morning, I wasn’t so shocked about having dreamed of her, blazing under the sunlight, her hair waving behind her like sun rays spreading across the ocean.

I took a long, steamy shower in the hopes of washing everything away. By the time I reached the main center, there she was, looking as beautiful as ever. I watched Sarah tuck her hair behind her ears while being deeply engrossed in whatever she was reading. When I interrupted her, I felt like a thief, stealing the peacefulness that surrounded her completely.

Sarah

I was reading a trivial book, one that has all the useless information normal people wouldn’t want to read and was fascinated by the cool facts about animals.

“Dolphins evolved from land animals. The land ancestors of dolphins lived about 50 million years ago and looked a little like a wolf”.

When a silhouette formed above my head, blocking the light, I raised my head and saw Ryan eying me as if I was from a different planet.

Ryan

'Hi there', I said to catch her attention because she only noticed me when I got too near. She replied back and after shutting the book, she stood up and off we went.

Sarah

The day passed by in a blink of an eye and before departing, Ryan shocked me by asking about my phone number. My face might have given the information away which is why he quickly explained ‘In case, you know…Kate had another emergency and would like you to take some of her classes. I just thought you might want to know before-hand’. He was considerate and I liked that. After handing him my number, both of us went to separate ways.

Ryan

Another smooth day has passed, I wanted to say at the end of our final day together but I couldn't. When I walked in to class earlier, I was amazed yet again. Sarah gave her students a 10 minutes recess in which she had them play hide-and-seek. I saw her pretending that she couldn't see James, the little guy whose hiding place was under the table. At long last, she surprised the boy by saying 'boo!' and at that, the bell rang.

Furious for god-only-knows-why, I hurried outside, without escorting Sarah this time because she had learned the place by heart already. Reaching the main building, I stopped there to sign on the board and searched through my pocket for my keys.

'Where did you go?', she said out of the blue and instead of responding, I found my keys and started walking away with a quicker pace and when I couldn't ignore her anymore, I turned around and said, 'Okay, I give up', raising both hands in defeat. She gave me a puzzled look and I resumed, 'I don't know how you do it…' I trailed off. Her eyes just kept watching me in silence like I was some sort of lunatic, speaking gibberish. 'You come out here, all happy around kids, for every single damn day, not to mention, doing all of this for nothing when I- - I…’ stammering on my words, I finally confessed, 'when I can't even stand my own little siblings'.

The twinkle in her eyes cut across my heart as sharp as a knife as that tear escaped from her chocolate-brown eyes and rolled down her left cheek. That drop of salty water alone froze me in place and did all the talking and even if she didn't say it out loud, I was sure as hell that I understood.

After what seemed like a decade, Sarah said flatly 'Mine died'.

I wanted to jump off my place and hug her, with the promise of protecting her or comforting her, I didn't know which one is which, because for the first time, it felt as if she had all the weight of the world on her tiny shoulders.

Fighting back tears, Sarah ran to the ladies room.

And I couldn't have hated myself more than I did back then.

****

Neoteric Glance [3]

Neoteric Glance ~ Chapter Three
By Kitten

A/N: Since part 2 was extremely short, here’s a long one. Also, a comment about the character Mohammed in Shattered Hope said that he wasn't manly enough, so I figured to get more in character in Neoteric Glance, hence Ryan get to speak most of the time. Let me know if I'm doing a good job at it or not.

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Ryan

8:15. I wanted to be late by 15 minutes so that I could meet Sarah based on her own timings. We were supposed to meet up at the main center, at the waiting hall but she wasn’t there. For five minutes, I kept wishing if I had slept off till the day after, since I stayed up all night yesterday, watching WWE Monday Night Raw.

Jeanne walked past me smiling and said, ‘Good morning, Ryan. I see you are alone’, this was her usual joke the moment she seems me without the company of a teacher. ‘Guilty as charged’ I shrugged and nodded.

Seating myself on one of the empty chairs, I grabbed today’s paper and went through the headlines. Noticing nothing out of the ordinary, I rested my face in the hems of my palm and sighed heavily.

‘Hey, sleepy-head’, it only took me a second to figure out it was Sarah’s soft voice. Raising my head, I was dazzled by her mini red dress. I have always hated bold colours, but on her, it looked…right.

‘Hey’, I surprised myself by smiling and trotting off, closely followed by Sarah. ‘You are late, you know’, I said without facing her.

‘C’mon, I have been here since 7:30 in the morning’, she replied.

Leaving this aside, I thought we could stop on our way and grab a bite at the cafeteria. Before knowing it, we were there when Sarah said she had hers already.

Since she was supposed to stick around with me at all times, I bought a waffle for her, even though she insisted on being full, she ate it afterward. We did not speak much on the table, although I noticed that I was not as tensed as I was with her yesterday. She’s just a natural, I assumed, at making everybody at ease around her or at least, me, in particular.

At 8:45, we were heading to the kindergarten’s section when Ms. Kate abruptly stopped us and asked me to let Sarah fill in her place for the day as she had an emergency back at home. I wondered what the hell was it this time?

I knew Kate for three years now, and she is the kind of person who would do anything to stay in here. Which was weird, if you ask me, because a lot of teachers have confided me in about how hard teaching can be and that I should be grateful for having an awesome thing to do everyday instead. What is so good in repeating the same thing billion of times, but with different people?

Knowing me, I only do this for the cash. If I did not, my landlord would have kicked me out ages ago and I would have to suck up at Dad’s for money every time a new music album came out.

After pointing out the class she’s supposed to be teaching I said, ‘Hello kids, this is your new substitute teacher, Ms. Sarah’, then I seated myself at the back like Sarah did yesterday.

‘Thank you, Ryan’, she whispered as she lifted up her black purse, took out flash cards with the alphabets printed on them and soon, started asking this one and that to pronounce them out loud, though mostly, they struggled in differentiating between d and b, n and m. Later on, she had them write those over and over again.

Here and there, she would crack a joke or two, sing a song and watch them all struggle upon catching the lyrics. It was funny, I should admit. And Sarah, well, she was a different person right then and there.

Sarah

Today’s highlights would have been getting all attached to Ms. Kate’s class that I secretly wished if she’d have some kind of emergency everyday. I know it makes me selfish, but hopefully, nothing bad happens to her or her children. If only it was urgent enough to be allowed to teach the class again tomorrow and, the day after that…

Ryan

On the way back to my flat, I kept thinking of Sarah. I have seen many good-looking, if not attractive, women before but they weren’t Sarah… In the back of my mind, flashes of her smile faded in and out while I am not even brave enough to actually admit them to myself, in the first place.

Ever since my parents’ divorce five years ago, I have been afraid of committing to anyone. I sort of pushed the idea of getting involved completely away as I obviously feared ending up just like Mom and Dad.

I am twenty-five now and my thoughts are filled with Sarah to the point that I forced myself asleep the moment the clock struck 9 PM because, I figured, if I get to shut down my brain, I will be fresh tomorrow and Sarah will be gone as fast and she came in and took control of my remaining senses…

***

Click here to view part One, Two & Three

Neoteric Glance [1]

Neoteric Glance ~ Chapter One
By Kitten

A/N: I came back from China

on Tuesday and I've been meaning to blog about the trip but I haven't finished uploading the pictures so that might take a while. But then I hated the idea of abandoning this place that yesterday, at around 2 AM, I picked out my notebook and searched for a story I've started writing sometimes back but haven't finished. I'd started scratching this line and adding that, in the hopes of publishing a polished piece of writing to you. Enjoy and let me hear your thoughts.

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Ryan

She’s late. Why I am not surprised?

I checked my watch and realized that I have wasted 15 minutes of my time waiting for this new teacher, or as they call her, a volunteer. And for the life of me, I cannot seem to understand how can someone, in his right mind, willingly volunteer for babysitting children. Or maybe, she had lots of free time and is desperate for a job that she would try to delude these co-workers of mine into believing she is capable of pulling this thing off so easily. As if.

‘Hi’ a woman approached me. ‘Are you the instructor? Hmm...’ she has forgotten my name. Perfect.

‘Ryan..?’ I guessed.

‘Yeah’, she answered.

‘I am your instructor, Ryan. Remember the name or you will get lost around here someday’ I hope, I muttered under my breath and I didn’t care if she heard me because she seemed busy, registering the shapes of the similar buildings nearby.

‘If you will come with me’ I gestured to the right direction, ‘we will be done with this in no time’.

She turned around and considered me for a second and said, ‘I am the one who is supposed to be grumpy. It is not your first day here, is it?’

‘No’, I replied back, ‘less chatting and more touring, okay?’ When she didn’t say a thing, I added, ‘Come on,’ and walked off to lead the way.

It is going to be a very long day, I assured myself.

It took us merely two minutes to reach the second building which had the kids’ classes. We walked in silence till I broke it and explained the locations of all classrooms. She just nodded without further questions and I thanked god for that.

On the second floor, one of the classroom’s doors stood ajar that I pointed out as the kindergartens'. Without a word, she walked over to the class, introduced herself and began asking weird questions like, ‘what are your hobbies?’ and ‘do you enjoy drawing?’ I stared, gaping over her behaviour. Why did she care about their favourite colour and whatnot?

When I came forward, I noticed them responding back. She had made friends already, I guessed because they all gathered around her, forming a round circle, asking and answering questions. She, unlike me, seemed to be enjoying herself and laughing for the first time since I met her a while ago.

A teacher came in her class and was shocked to see an intruder. Sarah introduced herself again rather briefly, took permission and seated herself at the far end of the class. I wanted to get in but I was kind of relived to have a few minutes break so I quickly hit the cafeteria and ordered a snack. When the bell rang announcing the end of the lesson, I climbed the stairs in a hurry and stepped in my track the moment I saw students hugging Sarah and asking her if she would come back tomorrow. A bright colour of red rose on her cheeks as she said goodbye to her little friends. Spotting me over their little heads, she came forward and looked at me, waiting for my next sentence. I blinked repeatedly and said, ‘what was THAT all about?’ almost screaming.

‘What?’ she asked, innocently.

I wanted to yell at her for abandoning me because it’s my duty to have done so, yet, the stupid and innocent face she had on made it all the more impossible for me to even resume staring. ‘Nothing’, I fumed. ‘Where are we going next?’ she inquired almost immediately. ‘Over here’, I led the way again, past the main center to the third building on the left. ‘This the building of the older group of students’’, I repeated what I usually said, ‘aged 12 to 17’.

She nodded and we entered. The atmosphere here was a bit serious than the latter. It was quiet and I could sense the surprised look on Sarah’s face. I laughed and said, ‘They are supposed to be studying’. She didn’t seem to get the joke yet she smiled politely, showing the same dimpled, perfect smile of hers.

Her silence, I have to admit, was irksome for she wasn’t like the other teachers I have encountered before. They had asked about when the school day would come to an end, where are the meeting-halls, ladies’ room or if they would get to meet up with me a second time and they would flirt a little when asking, but all of this…doesn’t seem to interest Sarah in any way possible. Based on what I observed, she had this habit of staring at every corner, like she is contemplating mysterious beauty, which I found quiet fascinating.

‘Ryan,’ she interrupted my thoughts, ‘what are we doing here?’

‘Huh?’, I asked.

‘I mean, why aren’t we touring around the place?’

‘Uh-oh, I guess we have done that part already’. I shrugged.

‘Oh, then, what are YOU doing here?’ she asked again.

‘I do not know,’ I said ‘maybe I am your instructor and I am not supposed to leave you till you get the place, and that’s hmm, let see…a week from now?’

*

Click here to view part One, Two & Three