Disjointed

What you're gonna get from this post is a bunch of random rants .. Ones without a link to the other.. Put the dots together to see how my train of thoughts is these days..

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The thing with exams approaching is that you have no time for freaking out, try doing that, and you're left with a coupla hours to revise and cram. Believe me, I should know.

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2011 ended, 2012 is a big year for me, I might end up depressed at home for not working hard enough or I might be studying abroad somewhere, who knows..

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I've stopped writing and that has made all the difference.. Wish I'd go back to it, without needing another source of self-relief that might lead me to things I'm not sure I could handle.. Things were easier back then. My pen was my best friend. My words were my only solace. And I loved things that way.

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Nothing's constant. Time changes every single little thing.

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Remember how I said numbers don't make sense to me? That I prefer words, since they speak loud and clear? Well. I've changed my mind. Numbers won't change, add 1 and 1, you'll always get two, there's no way that there's a deeper meaning to that. Words have that freakin deep meaning. To get that, you gotta read between the lines.. Go over them again and again till you're caught in between this and that, not knowing what you should do next.

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In order to revive Omani Book Mania, I started a series of posts with the title of 2011 in Books. If you're interested, email me your top 11 books that you've read in 2011, or review your favourite one. (Check Omani Book Mania to get an idea and email me at omanibookmania@gmail.com)

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I have gone through many different stages this year, but I managed to came out stronger than I thought I would be. And that have helped me shape my conclusions and take better choices the next time.

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What I have learned from this year though, keeping aside my negative thoughts up there, is to count on myself. Because I remember that one time that I lost my cool and realised that I can't be around anyone at that time but me. It made things clear; I can depend on myself, I can get myself out of the mess I helped create, I can fix things the way I want without the interference of others. I can do what I want if I believed I could.

And I have to believe I could pass this year too.

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I'd kill to go on vacation. I want to run-away somewhere. A faraway island, preferably.. All I need, I guess, is a timeout. I'm afraid I can't get one till the 31th.. Then a trip to somewhere would do it for me, I don't care where, as long as I get a plane ticket and I'm not 'here'..

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Anyone seen Elvis and Annabelle? The cliche in that movie was both of them trying to commit suicide at the same time. Looking at their lives, one can't question that they have lived differently yet they didn't believe they actually lived life in the true sense.. I understand Annabelle more, she have been under the spotlights ever since she could remember thanks to her mom always managing her life.. But I don't get Elvis'.. I mean he was happily taking care of his father but then again, once he passed away, he didn't find a reason to live any longer till the miracle happened.

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I have been thinking of Heathcliff lately. More than I should, I have to add.. How can someone stand him? How can his actions be justified? Is it love that turned him into the monster he became? Or jealousy?